Today is weigh-in day. I would have completely forgotten this if I hadn't gotten a Facebook message on my phone from Lena announcing that she weighed in today and lost 11 FUCKING POUNDS!! My friend > your friend. Lena is a fucking champ. Yeah, yeah you're only supposed to lose 2 pounds per week to lose weight in a healthy way but this is her first week, she didn't starve herself at all, and she's inherently awesome. Plus I lost 6 pounds my first week ever on the program, which, unsurprisingly, never happened again because this is what happens when you shock the fuck out of your body. I typed that last "body" as "boday" on accident and I read it in my head as "bod-ay." It made me laugh so I'm sticking with that spelling today.

Boday: La, la, la la! What a wonderfully, lazy day of carbs and grease!

*week of totally revamping eating habits and changing lifestyle*

Boday: OH GOD! WHAT THE FUCK?! I must rip this gooey fat from myself and discard it in anger and confusion!!!!!

Lena: Look, Brittany! I lost double digits!!

My "morning" was rather different. I woke up and weighed myself in the bathroom. I read "165.4" pounds and thought, "Oh, that's a loss. That's good!" So in my sleepy, yet excited stupor, I zombie walked over to my computer and logged in the weight.

*types in 265.4 pounds*

Me: Yes, that's right. *enter*